Post by macstarr on Mar 13, 2010 13:12:42 GMT -5
what's the difference between a bachelor and a married man?
bachelor comes home...sees whats in the fridge and goes to bed.
married man comes home... sees whats in the bed and goes to the fridge.
what did the blonde say when her doctor told her she was pregnant?
" is it mine "
question -- why did the woman cross the road?
answer-- i don't know, but the real question is...why was she out of the kitchen in the first place?
how can you tell if a woman is going to say something smart?
because she will start her sentence with.....a MAN once told me....
two snakes are havin a chat
one of them turns to the other and asks..."are we venomous"
the other replies.."yes..why do you ask?"
"well...cause i just bit me lip"
a brunette goes to her doctor and tells him that her body hurts all over..were ever she touches it.
"impossible" says the doctor, "show me"
so she pokes her elbow and screams in agony
she pokes her knee and screams
she pokes her ankle and screams
and so.. on it goes
the doctor says.."your not really a brunette are you"
she says "no..i'm really a blonde"
"i thought so" he says...."your finger is broken"
a woman gets on a bus with her baby,
the bus driver says..."ugh, that's the ugliest baby i've ever seen"
the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, still fuming with anger.
she says to the man next to her.."the bus driver just insulted me"
the man says.."well just you go right back to him and tell him off...go on...and i'll hold your monkey for you.
paddy the english man, paddy the scots man and paddy the irish man are all out for dinner together along with their wives.
paddy the english man turns to his wife and says..."pass the sugar, sugar"
paddy the scots man turns to his wife and says..."pass the honey, honey
paddy the irish man turns to his wife and says..."pass the milk, you fat cow.
hope you all get a good laugh..
cause i thought they were sooo so funny...lmao
bachelor comes home...sees whats in the fridge and goes to bed.
married man comes home... sees whats in the bed and goes to the fridge.
what did the blonde say when her doctor told her she was pregnant?
" is it mine "
question -- why did the woman cross the road?
answer-- i don't know, but the real question is...why was she out of the kitchen in the first place?
how can you tell if a woman is going to say something smart?
because she will start her sentence with.....a MAN once told me....
two snakes are havin a chat
one of them turns to the other and asks..."are we venomous"
the other replies.."yes..why do you ask?"
"well...cause i just bit me lip"
a brunette goes to her doctor and tells him that her body hurts all over..were ever she touches it.
"impossible" says the doctor, "show me"
so she pokes her elbow and screams in agony
she pokes her knee and screams
she pokes her ankle and screams
and so.. on it goes
the doctor says.."your not really a brunette are you"
she says "no..i'm really a blonde"
"i thought so" he says...."your finger is broken"
a woman gets on a bus with her baby,
the bus driver says..."ugh, that's the ugliest baby i've ever seen"
the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, still fuming with anger.
she says to the man next to her.."the bus driver just insulted me"
the man says.."well just you go right back to him and tell him off...go on...and i'll hold your monkey for you.
paddy the english man, paddy the scots man and paddy the irish man are all out for dinner together along with their wives.
paddy the english man turns to his wife and says..."pass the sugar, sugar"
paddy the scots man turns to his wife and says..."pass the honey, honey
paddy the irish man turns to his wife and says..."pass the milk, you fat cow.
hope you all get a good laugh..
cause i thought they were sooo so funny...lmao